So I have always tended to shy away from anything gross/crass but I feel this is like a scientifically and medically important blog to write.
All the ladies out there who suffer from lady part problems such as endometriosis, polycystic ovaries, or just god damn heavy AF periods will understand at least one of this issues!
As a sufferer of endometriosis myself, I have felt the wrath of my reproductive organs hating me! And sometimes in the weirdest ad most gross ways ever!
So I thought I could at least add some humour to a not so pleasant situation – cause you know, if you don’t laugh you’ll cry… A LOT!
Now where’s my god damn family block of Snack and wheat pack!
Marge, MARGE! The rains are here! For anyone who has ever experienced ‘flooding’ they will know the sheer terror you experience when your period catches you off guard and the sudden gush has you running for the bathroom!
You might die. Well that’s how I feel anyway, the chronic cramping and back pain is next level! And don’t let some bullshit gimmick on a Nurphen pack claiming it ‘targets’ period pain fool you – IT’S A LIE!!! Not even Endone will save you!
You rethink your friendships. There is nothing more mortifying than when you ask a girlfriend for a pad or tampon and they pass you a ‘mini’ or a panty liner?! Clearly you are not on the same wavelength, because that ain’t stopping none of your waves!
Menstruating or Murder Scene? I don’t know if this is just me but I’m sure I am on an FBI watch list for the number of times I’ve googled “how to get blood out of a mattress”!
This shit is painful! And no I don’t mean the cramps this time! I actually mean it hurts so much to poop! It actually gives me anxiety even thinking about it! Thank you Endo for that lovely reminder in case I didn’t already know I was dying a slow and painful death!
The eye of the storm. When you stupidly thinking that that your period had ended at day 4 because there’s been no blood for a half a day, so you stupidly don’t wear a pad! And cue gushhhhhh… Sucked in you’ve still got another 4 days!
So. Much. Blood. Women are truly amazing creature. We create life! But honestly every month I actually wonder how something can bleed so much and not die? Really? It’s a miracle!
I mean what did I expect when there is a tampon brand WITH MY NAME ON IT! #PERIODPROBLEMS