WOW! Seriously cannot believe this was us A DECADE AGO! Look at those carefree, natural tan sporting (before solariums got banned clearly) lovers enjoying each others company without a worry in the world! Not yet even thinking about babies…
No idea in years to come they’ll be drafted to the frontline of parenthood, being subjected to inhumane warfare tactics such as extreme sleep deprivation, minefields of Lego at the foot of their bed just waiting to take your foot out 😳 and hours upon hours of Disney soundtracks being blasted till your ears bleed 😵
Having babies sure does shake up relationships – sometimes it can make them and sometimes it can break them!
While you think you may have known someone before, having kids can really be an eye-opener! They often can change your relationship entirely!
It’s different for everyone I know, but I thought I’d detail some of the ways your relationship can change after kids just for a laugh!
1. Partner Envy
You’ll never hate your partner so much as when the baby starts crying at 3 am and he’s still FAST ASLEEP even after a few jabs to the kidney!
2. Poop Is The Norm
You will talk about poop more in one day than you ever did your entire child-free relationship.
3. Offloading Duties
Every time your partner walks through the door you’ll be so excited to see him – like a kid at Christmas! Mostly so you can offload spawn and empty your bladder in peace finally!
4. What’s A Razor?
Yes, you will feel guilty that you never put in effort into your appearance, but really “ain’t nobody got time for dat”.
5. New Kind Of Date Night
You’ll be so excited for date night, only to crash and be in bed before 9 pm and not even care!
6. Sleep Deprivation
Yep, you will argue over really dumb things and say things you don’t mean in your sleep-deprived rage.
7. Chore Tally
And yes, you will keep a mental tally of who is doing what in the house and with the kids and save that shit for when the arguments get really heated.
8. Less Sex
You will really want to have sex, but your love of sleep will prevail almost every single time.
9. Quick And Simple
When you do actually get jiggy with it, you’ll be getting straight to the main show – wtf is foreplay when you’re a parent?
10. Your Turn
You will keep a running tally of the number of nappy changes in your mind, and declare “your turn” when it’s a REALLY smelly one!
11. Nothing Beats Coffee
The best gift your husband could ever give you is a hot coffee. While he holds the baby of course. Flowers and jewellery are a waste of money!
12. The Mushy Stuff
You will learn so much about your partner’s core values and upbringing, that neither of you truly knew before.
13. Never Looked Better
Your partner will never have looked as sexy. Wide-mouthed, snoring, asleep with a sick and overtired baby finally asleep in his arms! Or kneeling bath-side singing “toot toot chugga chugga big red car” to a tub full of giggling babies!
14. Mentally Drawing Divorce Papers
You will mentally draw up divorce papers. Every time he comes home and says he is “tired” or “had a busy day at work”.
15. A Whole New Kind Of Love
You’ll develop a completely different level of love for your partner. Especially when you see just how much he loves your children.
Having babies is a huge shock to the system, no matter who you are! It can be tough during those early days especially when everyone’s tired and you’re in the trenches.
But it’s good to remember that you’re in the trenches together! And everyone is trying their best – even though it might be hard to see it at the time!