So the other day a newly pregnant girlfriend was talking about how she was shocked they called it ‘morning sickness’ because it seemed to happen ALL DAY LONG! She said it in such a way as if “why didn’t you tell me” like it was my responsibility as her friend and having already been pregnant to warn her! Well it got be thinking about all the things during pregnancy they do not tell you, so I have compiled a list of all the things I almost lost my kittens over while pregnant.
Leaking boobs/colostrum – Okay so I had heard of this one to a degree, but I had no freaking idea my boobs were going to start leaking thick and sticky liquid at 20 weeks pregnant. Not cool bro!
Cravings – So you hear about all the woman with really random cravings during pregnancy, well they don’t tell you that you might get none! Not one, in fact you might not be able to eat at all cause you feel nauseous ALL THE TIME!! And then by the time that all passes you cant eat because your stomach is squished up into your oesophagus and no food will even fit!
Diabetes Test – Only on the day you declare on Facebook that your going for the diabetes test is when everyone tells you how shit it tastes. Personally it wasn’t as bad as I prepare for, but the 3 hour wait after is what kills you! Make sure your phones charged and have a good friend on standby to message to keep to company!
Mucus Plug – So your expecting your waters to break? Well before that happens your plug comes out! Omg gross, so whatever you do don’t Google it (you googled it didn’t you) yup, it’s a giant vagina booger!
How boring labour can be – So in the movies the girl all of a sudden gets intense pain and within minutes is speeding to the hospital only to just make it and huff and puff out a baby on the bed. Umm no, that is not how it happens for most of us. It goes more like this – You go into hospital, they tell you to go home, you go back, “nope were full and your not dilated enough yes go home and rest”. Finally your in! Two days later – “nothing is happening we have to induce you!”. My suggestion, take a laptop full of movies!
Induction – So yeah again, no one mentioned that a lot of the time baby doesn’t even want to come when their supposed to -so when your ten days over and wanting to kill anyone in sight they then fill you up with the drip and WOW is that first contraction the worst pain ever! (Sorry for scaring you)
Episiotomy – Okay so I was lucky enough not to have one of these, but many friends I know have. Basically baby is taking to long, in the wrong potions or they just don’t fit, so they make the hole bigger! Yup, and you thought having a caesarean was scary!
Caesarean Section – So we all know what it is, however for a lot if it is not planned and your OBGYN does not even touch on the topic. You don’t really know how it all works until your on the operating table – exhausted after two days failed labour! Once your in there its only a matter of minutes before they have sliced you open and pulled out your baby, then it takes them almost three times as long to remove the placenta and stitch you back up! But seriously it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be, even in an emergency situation!
I apologise to anyone who read this and is now shit scared of having children, trust me when I say it’s worth it. And you might be lucky, none of these things could happen to you. What other things did you experience during pregnancy that shocked you?