The postie – You could put boobie-traps and landmines out the front of your house and this fucker would dodge them and make it to your door just to ignore the giant sign saying “baby asleep; do not ring bell” and ring the mother fucking bell!
Anyone at Centrelink – Because apparently it’s the Australian Government soul aim in life to make a new mums life a literal living hell. As if it’s not bad enough being drowned in paperwork, you also have to deal with the useless call centre staff who couldn’t organise a root in a brothel.
The ‘so-called’ barista at your local – Like seriously you had one job? ONE FUCKING JOB! And the worst part is it doesn’t matter how horrible and bitter the coffee is, when your a mum you have no option but to skull it!
The creators of Peppa Pig – COULD YOU HAVE MADE THE EPISODE A LITTLE LONGER MATE??? Jesus, ya killing me over here!
The pleb at McDonalds who forgot you’re sauce – Now I know this happens whether you have kids or not, but when you get bayed in drive through for about 20 minutes while waiting for you fucking McNuggets, only to be left sans sauce – I literally want to flip my shit sideways!
Not only have I not eaten all day, have a car full of screaming children demanding my chips but now I have to go back through the drive through just to get my god damn sauce because getting out the car is NOT an option!