Your Postie

You could put boobie-traps and landmines out the front of your house and this fucker would dodge them and make it to your door just to ignore the giant sign saying “baby asleep; do not ring the bell” and ring the mother fucking bell!

Anyone at Centrelink

Because apparently, it’s the Australian Government’s sole aim in life to make a new mum’s life a literal living hell. As if it’s not bad enough being drowned in paperwork, you also have to deal with the useless call centre staff who couldn’t organise a root in a brothel.

The ‘so-called’ barista at your local

Like seriously you had one job? ONE FUCKING JOB! And the worst part is it doesn’t matter how horrible and bitter the coffee is – when you’re a mum you have no option but to skull it!

The creators of Peppa Pig

COULD YOU HAVE MADE THE EPISODE A LITTLE LONGER MATE??? Jesus, ya killing me over here!

The pleb at McDonald’s who forgot your sauce

Now I know this happens whether you have kids or not, but when you get bayed in the drive through for about 20 minutes while waiting for you fucking McNuggets, only to be left sans sauce – I literally want to flip my shit sideways!

Not only have I not eaten all day, have a car full of screaming children demanding my chips but now I have to go back through the drive through just to get my god damn sauce because getting out the car is NOT an option!